Weathering the storms

As most people do in life my family is going through some growing pains. My long time love (not my husband, cuz we are too cool to get married...lol) hates the job that he took about six months ago, and before that he was really unhappy at the last one due to commute and feeling like he just wanted something different...better. Well he learned the hard way that the grass is not always greener on the other side and it has been the worst career mistake he has ever made. That being said it has been a huge stain at home, he has been moody and really hard to be around. He hasn't been himself and that makes me have to carry the bulk of the work that has to do with home and family. The relationship has changed, we don't even sleep in the same room anymore. I love him because we have been together for 13 years, and I stick with him because that is what a good wife does, she stands behind her man and his decisions...no matter what. That's how I was raised.

But what happens when those decisions cause all sorts of unrelated problems?? Do you stay because you're suppose to, or because you want to, or because you have no where else to go??? I have really been struggling, and when I mention going to talk to someone about it, I just get the answer that he won't go, and if we are at that point what is the point of going?? I feel like his unhappiness is sucking the life out of me. It is taking away from our kids and its like a dark cloud over our family. He is impatient with the kids and I constantly feel like I have to referee them all. I know that I am not the only woman going through things like this and that others have it far worse than I do, but what about my happiness??? What about my girls?? I just feel like there is no one who can just give me an answer and man thats all i really want.

I have these days where I feel like he is a stranger and we dont even know each other any more. Do I even like him anymore?? The fighting gets to be so much and who wants to live this way really? I am the type of person who usually keeps all this in, but who the hell will really read this any way and what difference does it really make?? Well getting it out helps I guess, so to all those who are struggling like me...hang in there, the sun will shine again....

Changing the goals already

Sometimes I truly think I have ADD, but the truth is as much as I would love to be able to sew it isn't practical for me with my 2 year old with me all the time. She loves to help and I find myself battling her more and more. So that being said I am going to continue with my same other goals but I am going to work on cooking and photography now. I feel that if I can take amazing pictures of the places we go and the adventures the girls and I take. I would also like to take some shots of my favorite places in nature. I am still working on trying to finish my home decor as well and I think getting some art on the walls would go a long way too.

This past weekend we reconnected with some friends and had a great time visiting with them on Saturday night and it really just inspired me to get my house together as soon as possible and start hosting a lot of fun things. I want people to feel welcome at my house and want to hang with us. We have been in a down place with all the changes in our lives recently and I really want to find our way back to happiness. I need to have people around us and a good time again. i know how much I used to love having people over when I was a kid and I want to do that for my girls as well. I have really been too much into myself and i need to remember I am happiest with friends and my girls. So I am really actively going to work to get our social calendar filled up for the summer. Ok enough for now. I will post some pictures of my photography experiments soon.

Tori